My name is Michael Brown.
I’m from Altrincham but now live in Heaton Moor (UK). I am a teacher, published poet, author, audiobook narrator, actor, father (adoption/foster), husband, bipolar and self-named creative Mancunian eccentric.
I decided to take part in Victorious Voices after the successful completion of a 7-year legal battle. I think it is very common institutions don’t deal with CSA correctly and protect themselves first over the needs of children.
When I was at Catholic primary school, a priest entered the school on a regular basis to have us serve in the church as altar boys during the school day (missing our education), and he abused both boys and girls for many years. The school said, “We must cover ourselves” first over the children they had allowed into harm’s way. The church knowingly moved on an abuser.
The initial catalyst to share that I was abused was when I was going through the adoption process to adopt my son, and it was reported to the police. This was the start of years of mental health care, support groups and ongoing therapy. A big help on my journey was finding other Survivors through groups like Victorious Voices and We Are Survivors.
I followed the legal process against the advice of my doctor and was re-traumatised, becoming very unwell. However, I needed to do it for justice and closure. When I’m struggling, I find going away alone to have a calm, solitary and relaxing holiday the best cure.
I am strong, powerful, organised, never give up and fearless. Sometimes in life, you don’t have to just BE strong but FEEL strong. My identity is intact, but I lost my faith/religion due to the abuse.
When you share with others, a weight is lifted and doing press coverage made me feel heard and justice served. You have to wait many years and hold on to survive the legal process. You must be patient and never give up.
I forgive myself for being unwell, and if that was ever a burden on them. I can’t forgive those who knowingly did something wrong, covered it up then battle when you try to resolve it.
My advice to other survivors who are on their path to healing from abuse is that it does not define you as a person. Be determined if you want to pursue a legal path, but seek medical advice and have treatment throughout. We are not our scars, and our wounds remind us we have the strength to heal and move on.