My name is Meg.

My abuse began around my 13th birthday. The perpetrator was a family friend whom I had known through church since birth. He was 14 years older than me. When the abuse began, I had already been experiencing an extremely difficult home life for around five years and had witnessed some truly awful things. He exploited my vulnerability.

It initially involved him coercing me into sending sexual images of myself, controlling my appearance and buying me clothes. It then escalated to contact sexual abuse. His offending escalated over time to increasingly horrific crimes against me. He used his position of power to manipulate, control and threaten me into doing whatever he wanted, often manipulating other people around us to do things too.

The abuse finally ended just after my 17th birthday in 2012.

My CSA was reported by a third party in 2016, and I then had to go through a lengthy five-year police investigation. I am fully aware that many survivors have extremely damaging experiences with the police and that conviction rates are disgustingly low. However, I could not fault the way Avon and Somerset Police handled my case. My abuser was originally charged with 18 offences, and my case went to trial in May 2021, at which he was found guilty of 11 offences. He also pleaded guilty to a further three and was subsequently sentenced to ten years’ imprisonment.

My family and I subsequently experienced abhorrent victim-blaming from members of the church we had both attended. This is something I still cannot comprehend. It continued for years and has become an issue I feel passionately about addressing because it is extremely dangerous, particularly for children who are currently being abused. It makes me angry that children and adult survivors may be too frightened to come forward for fear of not being believed, particularly when the abuser holds a position of greater power.

I was finally able to receive counselling at the end of 2021, five years after the CSA was reported. I had previously been advised that records from any counselling I received could be disclosed during the trial and used by the defence. I really did not want to jeopardise the justice that I deserved. Since 2021, I have attended almost weekly sessions, which have had an incredibly positive impact on my life. From around 2012, my mental health declined rapidly. My anxiety became debilitating and, for a time, I took medication to manage it. I found that walking, spending time with my dog, speaking with other survivors, watching sunsets, spending time with friends and family, and cooking all helped.

I never realised how much my CSA would affect my adult life, and I have worked so hard to get to a point where I can finally breathe and enjoy life. I never thought I would live without debilitating anxiety but, as I write this today, I am deeply proud of how far I have come. I want others to know that, even during the darkest days, there is always hope and a path forward. Things can get better, and life can be beautiful.

To conclude my testimony, I would like to share something the judge said during my abuser’s sentencing: “It is disappointing how a couple of them fail to appreciate the long-term devastation which you have wreaked upon another human being’s life.” Whenever I read this sentence, I get a lump in my throat. I hope that sharing this deeply personal part of my life helps to challenge victim-blaming and enables people to understand the unimaginable harm caused by childhood sexual abuse.

Survivors need to be believed.