My name is Mollie.
I am from Bradford, UK and I decided to take part in Victorious Voices through a programme in Leeds called Survivor leaders. I am passionate about breaking the silence around CSA because I understand how an abuser can have multiple personalities, I know how they can make abuse feel normal and use coercive control against everyone in their orbit- this played a huge part in my own story towards my mum leading to parent alienation.
I am most enthusiastic about helping the world to understand if every child who has experienced CSA is given a safe, loving and caring space to be heard where they then experience the justice they deserve, together as Survivors and allies, we have achieved what once felt impossible.
I lived through 14 years of different types of abuse that felt completely normal. My abuser has multiple personalities and is extremely good at hiding his true colours. My grandma passed away recently, and he still wanted control over me not letting me attend the funeral. In the end I had the final goodbye without his knowledge. One family member said “he is a devil in disguise and has been since he was a child.
My abuser preys on the vulnerable and moves from job to job. There have been multiple police reports, and he still has my brother, the police and social services failed us. They were blindsided with his narcissism.
I am finally not scared to share my story and break the silence around CSA and parental alienation. I have reclaimed my power in many different ways, my mum bought her own house, runs a company and is a community development manager, she is my inspiration to life.
To help overcome my trauma I decided we are no longer victims but survivors. I became an artist, community work is a big part of me self-care, it makes me feel surrounded by peace. Bradford rape crisis saved my life and my mum.
When I was 21 years old, I decided to change which meant not binge eating and letting myself heal. I did this through art and changing my surroundings. This started when one day I woke up and had enough. I binned nearly everything in my room and said no more.
I overcome my obstacles by accepting that good and bad days will happen and that it is okay. You must feel pain and understand that it is part of your journey.
I will never forgive my abuser.
For other CSA survivors on this journey, I would say:
“You’re so hard on yourself. But remember everybody has a chapter they don't read out loud. Take a moment. sit back. Marvel at your life; at the mistakes that gave you wisdom, at the suffering that gave you strength. Despite everything, you still move forward, be proud of this. Continue to endure. Continue to preserve. And remember, no matter how dark it gets, the sun will rise again.”