My name is John Bradley.

I was only three when my sexual abuse began. At such a young age, I did not understand that what was happening to me was sexual abuse. I kept this terrible experience to myself for decades, until the effects of my trauma led me to attempt suicide when I was 36. I have no shame in sharing this because disclosing what had happened and seeking help became a turning point in my life and allowed me to become the man I am today: happy and content, with a loving family. I told my wife the reasons behind my attempt. Telling her was initially very difficult. I also told my GP and began to see a psychologist. My healing had begun.

I am lucky to have a tremendous support network, including my wonderful wife and beautiful children. They have been there for me in more ways than I can say. I also received trauma therapy and peer-to-peer support from the charity We Are Survivors, an amazing organisation in Manchester that helps male survivors of all forms of sexual violence. A key turning point in my healing journey came when I finally realised how strong I had been as a child to survive sexual abuse from the age of three to fifteen and a half.

For a long time, I was ashamed of this part of my life. It was a source of self-loathing, but by recognising my strength and resilience, I was able to transform that self-loathing into self-love. The road has not always been smooth, of course. I lost family members when my mum, stepdad, stepsister and brother did not believe me after I disclosed the abuse to them. I see this as their loss, and I have met many great people since sharing my story.

Reflecting on my journey so far, my message to other survivors is simple:  

You can heal. Please don’t give up.