My name is Scarlett Rose Robertson.
I believe it's crucial that any and all shame is put solely on abusers and never on victims. If we do this, we take away the ability of abusers to weaponise shame against victims in order to keep them from speaking out. If society was not afraid of this truth, abusers would have nowhere to hide; silence and blind eyes only enable abuse.Instagram: @scarlettlight
My abuse was a complex series of incidents that happened over various ages, from three years old up to age eleven. My abuse consists of intra-familial child sexual abuse by an adult and various older children.
The most vital step I took towards my healing was coming to the realisation that it did not matter how many times or ways I tried to communicate to my mother about my abuse, she would minimise and misunderstand me. She purposefully protects herself and the fake pretence of her perfect family. Once I understood this, it gave me the strength and permission to trust and believe in myself and to know that I did not deserve what had been done to me. I will never be shamed into silence again.
My husband's unconditional love, support, and understanding have been vital parts of my healing. Becoming a mother requires me to continue to heal and work on my growth so that I can be a safe and loving person to my children.
I was very lucky to receive counselling from a specialist organisation called Portsmouth Abuse and Rape Counselling Service (PARCS). They allowed me to talk to trauma-informed counsellors about my abuse without fear of judgment or criticism. I also find listening to other survivors who discovered their voices and talked about their experiences very beneficial. Podcasts such as these have been amazingly helpful and insightful:
Sexual Assault Survivor Stories (SASS)
The Jan Broberg Show
Breaking the Cycle to Step Forward
I would like every victim and Survivor of sexual abuse to know that you are not to blame and that your need for validation is never asking for too much. You were a child who needed to be heard, and now you CAN make that happen. There are people in the world who will listen to you, believe you, and want to see you thrive.