My name is Jack Jackson.

I am happy to share my experience of what happened to me. My abuse began when I was eight, approaching nine. A family member sexually abused me until I was sixteen, when I finally broke my silence.

Because of this, I struggled greatly with my mental health while growing up. I wanted the abuse to stop but did not know how to make it stop. When I was sixteen, I decided that enough was enough and found the courage to speak up and report it.

Unfortunately, when I was eighteen, my court case against the person I reported collapsed after the second day of trial. A woman from Victim Support at the court put me in touch with We Are Survivors, formerly known as Survivors Manchester, and that was the beginning of my healing journey. Time has been one of my greatest healers, allowing me to find myself and discover my path in life.

Music is one of my best coping mechanisms. If I am having a particularly bad day or experiencing reminders of my abuse, music helps me drown them out. I discovered this at a young age. Because I lived in an abusive household, music became my escape. Trance music, in particular, gave me a euphoric feeling.

Over time, I have developed a support network, although finding support within my family has been difficult because they were at the centre of everything. My friends have been great. They have been immensely helpful and are always there to listen. I returned to We Are Survivors in 2022 after taking a break because work and life had got in the way.

I still attend the Safe Room, which is a male peer-to-peer support group. I have also had one-to-one therapy, which helped me tremendously. It allowed me to reframe how I understood the abuse and change my mindset in general.

Therapy was one of the main turning points in my recovery journey because it changed my mindset. Before therapy, my mindset was ‘I can’t fuck up’. We managed to unpick that belief and turn it around. Now, my mindset is ‘My life is for me and only me’. I understand that I can make mistakes because I am human.

That being said, I have encountered many setbacks along the way. Many of these setbacks occurred when I tried to talk about the abuse and its effects. People would change the subject or tell me to get over it. Those who have not experienced childhood sexual abuse may not fully understand it, but no one can expect a survivor simply to get over the trauma. This is why I share my story: to help other survivors and show people how profoundly childhood sexual abuse can affect someone later in life.

I reclaimed my identity when I was around twenty-four, largely because I was determined to keep going and help others. I knew that sharing my story might inspire other people to break their silence. Through sharing it, I have also met many other survivors.

In terms of forgiveness, I’ll be honest: I do not have any forgiveness for my abuser. I will neither forgive nor forget what he did to me, and I also struggle to forgive other people who hurt me. However, I have forgiven myself for the anger I directed at myself for not breaking my silence before I was sixteen. This took time, but I’m glad I did it.

My advice to other survivors is to take each day as it comes. We are allowed to have dark days, whether they last for a day, several weeks or even months. This may sound really cheesy, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. We will get through this together and show the world that we are great—that we are VICTORIOUS!