My name is Plamen Draganov.

Growing up was tough for me. I come from a dysfunctional family filled with drama and trauma. To make matters worse, my dad was very homophobic.  So, when I realised I was gay, it just made everything so much worse. I never felt safe at home; I was always walking on eggshells. I felt like I was the only gay kid in the world. I didn't know anyone else like me. It was lonely. When I was fifteen, I turned to the internet to try to find others like me, to feel seen and understood. I chatted with someone who presented himself as a boy my age, and we decided to meet. But when I got there, it was like a horror movie. Instead of a boy my age, I met this older man who seemed to be in his forties or fifties. I wanted to run away, but before I knew it, he attacked me, beat me up and raped me. It was so horrible; I thought my life was over.

For over two decades, I kept it all inside, too scared to tell anyone what happened. It ate away at me. But with time and a lot of therapy, I found my way back. I turned my pain into something positive—a way to help others going through similar struggles. Now, I'm in a better place. I've healed, and I'm using my experience to make a difference. It's been a journey, that's for sure, but I'm grateful for where I am now and who I've become. And if my story can help even one person, then it's all been worth it.

The turning point that led me to share my experience as a survivor came when I had a breakdown, reached rock bottom and felt that I could no longer live my life in hiding. I later realised it was a breakthrough as it pushed me in the right direction. The initial steps I took towards healing from my abuse were sharing my story for the first time in over two decades with a person I trusted. I also reached out for help and therapy at the same time. For me, the positive coping mechanisms that helped me navigate the healing process were self-love and self-compassion. This was a game changer after a life filled with self-hatred.

Healing would not have been possible without the support network I have built since taking those first steps, including We Are Survivors, friends, coaches, mentors and therapists. The services provided by We Are Survivors and person-centred counselling were particularly helpful. Both gave me the space to explore my inner workings and understand my journey. Counselling was the first place where I could share my story without feeling judged. My therapist held space for me, allowing me to feel in charge of my own life. I have encountered setbacks and challenges during my healing journey. The greatest have been my struggles with self-belief and self-worth. Working on my sense of self-worth made all the difference. It encouraged me to pursue joy, happiness, a fulfilling life and connection, and to inspire others by sharing my story.

I have cultivated self-care by getting to know myself—my needs, my mind and what makes me tick. This has helped me set boundaries with others and with myself, and given me clarity about what serves me and what does not. In hindsight, all the breakdowns, pain, and inner turmoil were the greatest teachers for me. I have adopted the mindset that these experiences can teach me something and that I can become a better person by learning from them. Deciding to share my story publicly was a turning point in my journey of reclaiming my sense of identity and agency.

It gave me an immense sense of power and confidence. Like many other survivors, I blamed myself for what happened to me for a very long time. Forgiving myself for those years of self-hatred and self-blame gave me permission to seek help and the desire to improve my life. For my own wellbeing, I even see the possibility of forgiving the abuser someday. Looking back on my journey, I would say to other survivors: no one deserves to live in the shadow of their traumatic past.

Trauma can isolate us from the world. Do not fall into this trap. Seek help and support from people and communities. Healing is possible. In my experience, it takes time and work to recognise the choices available to us. Once we recognise them, we can begin to reclaim control over our own lives.

Happiness, joy, and peace - it's all possible.