My name is Trish Hinde.

I experienced sexual abuse and rape from the age of 6. It was almost a way of life, given that I have no early memories from before the abuse started.   

I tried to report the abuse many times over the space of 20 years, it was only in 2019 and the final time I reported the abuse my report was taken seriously. There were various missed opportunities to end the abuse, unfortunately all were shooed away and completely dismissed. Doctors, teachers, and social workers were all involved in the negligence and flippant responses. This is something that I still struggle with today. The resentment is difficult to shake. 

I was always told that 'that never happened to you' and 'what happened to you was nothing,' so realising that what happened did actually happen and, in fact, it was pretty awful was quite a harrowing moment for me. I always felt it was serious but never really how severe the abuse was until I widened my social circle and realised that other people had very ordinary lives. 

Trauma-informed therapy has been the singular most important part of my healing journey. I have been very lucky to find an excellent therapist. The tools he has provided have been lifesaving with no exaggeration. I had a huge turning point in a therapy session, I believed that the reason my dad abused me for so many years was that he couldn't help it, it wasn't his fault. In turn, this must have meant it was my fault!

The discussion came up in therapy, and the words out of my therapist’s mouth have stuck with me ever since. It is true that the urges he had he cannot control, however he made a conscious decision to act on the urges again and again.

My husband was and still is my biggest supporter and the most understanding and accepting human I have ever encountered. My husband and children are the only reason I am still alive today. Without him, I would have given up a long time ago. 

I am very grateful to have been able to write my story in my book ‘Not My Fault: A father's secret shame, a daughter's living hell’. This was incredibly therapeutic for me. It was almost like I wrote down all the events that shaped who I am for the worst years of my life and physically closed the book on them. It was a very powerful process to be able to do that, and it’s something I am grateful for each and every day. 

I know many people are going through the same thing at the moment. If I could offer any advice to survivors, I would say when you feel like giving up, that's when you need to keep going. I know it's a long, hard process, but you can only gain closure when you know you've done everything you can to get justice. It's hard but so worth it.