My name is Hua Yinyin.

I do not wish to go into the details of my abuse but instead focus on what I have done to move past it. For example, I realise I am not to blame for my abuse and the fault belongs to my perpetrators. Telling the stories of what happened to me to my mum makes me feel safe now.

I am from China and now I’m in Leeds, UK. I want to take part in Victorious Voices because now I think I have grown up and I can distinguish the things had to happen in the past that were abusive.

I do not wish to go into the details of my abuse but instead focus on what I have done to move past it. For example, I realise I am not to blame for my abuse and the fault belongs to my perpetrators. Telling the stories of what happened to me to my mum makes me feel safe now.

In my city, there are some guys looking forward the little girls to satisfy their pathological needs. I had to leave the place where this was happening.

I think my friend saved me, because in Asian culture the girls may meet some problems like this, but we never mention it to our friends or our parents because we always think it is something to be ashamed of. For me, it was not until I become an adult, I began to realise it is not my fault.

One of my friends she suffered abuse, some more serious than mine and I thought I was lucky. I did some reflections immediately when I found this out.

I think my thoughts have changed a lot since I became an adult. In East Asian culture, women are often the object of sexual behaviour. It was not until the past few years that I realised that girls’ bodies are not only used to meet the needs of others. Desires are very normal, and we have any right to refuse behaviours that make us uncomfortable.

If you are suffering from the ashamed feelings because of abuse, just remember everything is not your fault! And never because of this be addicted into unhealthy feelings.