My name is Mollie Harris.
I am from Bradford, UK. I decided to take part in Victorious Voices through the West Yorkshire Survivor Leaders programme. I am passionate about breaking the silence around childhood sexual abuse (CSA).
I understand how an abuser can present very different versions of themselves, normalise abuse and use coercive control against everyone around them. In my case, this played a significant part in alienating me from my mum.
I lived through 14 years of various forms of abuse that had been made to feel completely normal. My abuser could present very different sides of himself and was extremely good at hiding his true colours. After my grandma passed away, he still tried to control me by preventing me from attending her funeral. In the end, I was able to say a final goodbye without his knowledge.
I am no longer afraid to share my story and break the silence around CSA and parental alienation. I have reclaimed my power in many ways. My mum bought her own house, runs a company and works as a community development manager. She is an inspiration in my life.
As part of overcoming my trauma, I decided that I would no longer see myself as a victim but as a survivor. I became an artist, and community work became an important part of my self-care. It brings me a sense of peace. Bradford Rape Crisis and Sexual Abuse Survivors Service saved my life.
When I was 21, I decided to make a change: to stop binge eating and allow myself to heal. That change began one day when I woke up and decided I had had enough. I binned nearly everything in my room and said, ‘No more.’ I overcome obstacles by accepting that there will be good days and bad days, and that this is okay. For me, allowing myself to feel pain and understand it as part of my journey has been important.
I will never forgive my abuser.
For other CSA survivors on this journey, I would share these words:
“You’re so hard on yourself. But remember, everybody has a chapter they don’t read out loud. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the mistakes that gave you wisdom, at the suffering that gave you strength. Despite everything, you still move forward. Be proud of this. Continue to endure. Continue to persevere. And remember, no matter how dark it gets, the sun will rise again.”
—Author unknown
